My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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