drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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