question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You brought string cheese to the strip club
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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