chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
