$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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