I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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