am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
