I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
