Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
