At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
