jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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