my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize