After last night, I could never be a politician.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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