is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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