what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My vagina is officially offended.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
