Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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