does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society