If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake