He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
