i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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