We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
