Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
