Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize