Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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