I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
