Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
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if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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