I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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