You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
