What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize