I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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