I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
