I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
