If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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