Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
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we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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