I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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