i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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