Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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