I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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