I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
