you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
