Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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