doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
