Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
