the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
