the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
