Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
