Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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