OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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