omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
