Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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