Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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