Duck Duck Cougar?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I have post one night stand depression
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
