No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
