would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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