it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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