no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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