I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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