Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize