his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
