eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Never underestimate the power of titties
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
