Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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