I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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