I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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