How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He felt like a one man threesome
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
