i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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