Will you blow on my dice?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
